


All's Fair on Twitter and at Reniassance Fairs

by bennet_darcy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Badass Phasma, Business, Damsel-in-distress Hux, Debt, F/M, First Order, First Order Politics (Star Wars), First Order is a major company, Flustered Hux, Knight Phasma, Living Together, Lord Kylo Ren, Major Trouble, Prank Wars, Reniassance Fair, Stress, Twitter, that has several smaller businesses, twitter wars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24350437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennet_darcy/pseuds/bennet_darcy
Summary: The First Order is a company that has several different branches. Each branch has a twitter account. Phasma, Hux, and Kylo Ren all run these twitter accounts but when tragedy strikes how will they recover what has been lost. Not to mention the upcoming reniassance fair and murmurs of an upcoming knight that has a chance at beating Phasma and ruin her winning streak and the unwavering question of Hux's unusual behviour.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Phasma, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Glitter and Other Unexpected Surprises

This was it for Phasma. She’d hit her breaking point and Hux would pay. She’d left her helmet on her office desk when she went to go retrieve her lunch and she came back to it being Hot Pink and covered in glitter. The only two people who even had access to her office were Hux and Ren and Ren had been off-base for the past week. Sure, she’d ‘accidentally’ slipped some bright orange dye in Hux’s soap which turned him orange for about a week but this was just cruel. It’d take weeks before she could get all the glitter out of her stuff and even longer to repaint her helmet. The renaissance fair was in three days and there was no way she’d be able to fix Hux’s damage in that amount of time. It was time to pay Hux a visit. 

Marching up to Hux’s office, she strolled right in and made herself comfortable in the chair across from the ginger-haired man himself. He took a quick glance at her before promptly returning his focus to his computer. Tapping her fingers on his desk, she snatched one of the reports from in front of him. 

“You know I need that to finish up the fraud reports,” Hux drolled, “So if you could kindly return that to where you got it from…” 

Phasma started skimming the document in her hands, flipping pages when necessary, “I don’t think I will,” Phasma smirked pulling a highlighter from her pocket, “After all, you didn’t return my helmet without making a few altercations first.” 

Marking the document up, she started to highlight any inconsistencies in the report and rolling her eyes when she came across something completely ridiculous. 

“You really should have me proofread these things before you type them into the official report. You’re gonna get yourself caught.” Phasma suggested shrugging her shoulders. 

Hux turned his chair to face her, scowl on his face. When he saw her, the scowl fell from his face to be replaced with a more confused look. She was in a red pantsuit wearing heels. That was certainly not a sight he ever expected to see. Looking down at his own outfit, he realised they were matching. One of them was going to have to go change. 

Phasma, seeing the flustered look on Hux’s face, smirked. She knew he wasn’t paying enough attention to realise that their outfits were matching earlier. She’d realised when he exited the break room with his cup of coffee that morning. Taking a moment to stretch before hopping back on her feet Phasma inquired, “Like the suit? It was hanging in the back of my closet. Decided I needed a change from my normal silver.” Phasma smiled as she slid the edited document over to Hux before exiting his office leaving him dumbfounded. 

Phasma rounded the corner headed to Hux’s quarters with a vial of glitter to dump on everything he's ever owned. She’d just needed to distract him long enough that he wouldn’t be suspicious of her revenge. Unfortunately, life had other plans for her as she crashed into another human being dumping the glitter all over them. Backing up in an attempt to see who she’d just glitter bombed, she came face to face with Kylo Ren. 

Her jaw dropped as she watched the man before her, his facial expressions changing between rage and confusion. That is, until he looked up and saw Phasma. He stood, brushing as much glitter off as he could before giving Phasma a slightly amused look. 

“I’m assuming that this much glitter was meant for Hux?” Ren asked with no malice in his voice. 

Phasma just nodded before an idea flashed across her face. “It could still be meant for Hux.” she suggested. 

Ren just stood there with a confused look on his face. He clearly wasn’t catching on. He motioned for Phasma to elaborate. 

“Well,” Phasma started, “You have more than enough glitter on you and your clothes so if you were to change and try to get the glitter off in Hux’s room then the glitter would transfer onto his belongings.” 

Kylo considered this for a second before giving Phasma a slightly less broody look than normal. Turning, he made a beeline for Hux’s room. Phasma followed behind him and when they reached Hux’s room, Phasma left to go get Ren a change of clothes that wouldn’t be covered in glitter. 

Upon returning to Hux’s room, she pushed the door open to find that it was already coated in glitter. Strolling up to the bathroom door, Phasma knocked on the door with two short raps to let Ren know she was there. Ren opened the door up enough to slip his hand out and take the pile of glitter free clothes from Phasma before shutting the door once more. 

After a moment, Ren slipped out the bathroom, glitter filled clothes in hand before handing his shirt to Phasma and explaining, “The clothes are still filled with glitter. There are a couple pockets in my shirt that collected the majority of it. Use it to spread the glitter.” 

Phasma nodded, grin on her face, as she quickly got to work. After a few minutes, they both threw the article of clothing into Hux’s clothes bin having covered all his belongings with Satan’s sparkles. The two exited the room as fast as possible and headed straight for Hux’s office. After all, now that the esteemed Kylo Ren was back then from his business trip then they needed to have a meeting with all three of them present. The two strolled into his office, Phasma entering first, drumming her fingers on Hux’s desk to get his attention. Looking up to see Phasma there, Hux went to redeem himself from their earlier conversation before observing they weren’t alone. 

Upon his observation he rolled his eyes and focused them on the other man, “I see his excellency has graced us with his presence,” he directed at Phasma, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Ren glared at the smaller man before taking the seat that was normally reserved for Phasma. However, the woman in front of him looked unperturbed and instead of contradicting the other man's movements just sat herself on the edge of Hux’s desk. 

“Bold of you to say,” started Ren, his voice daring Hux to contradict him, “for someone who runs a half-assed company twitter for First Order Finery.” 

Ren leaned forward in the chair as he watched Hux’s ears and face go red knowing he’d hit a nerve. Hux humphed in indignance and glanced at Phasma to see if she was going to add her opinion anytime soon. But seeing as she was staring at a painting in his office with the utmost fascination, he highly doubted it. Hux leaned back in his chair crossing his arms before returning his gaze to Kylo. 

“That’s rich coming from fake royalty. You can call yourself the Emperor of burgers but that doesn’t mean it's true,” Hux said his voice pitched higher not unlike a tattletail, “We all know Emperor’s Eats is a marketing scam and ergo since you run it’s twitter you are a marketing scam.” 

Hux watched the anger grow in the man across from him. He could see Ren slowly losing control from the way he was gripping the arms of the chair. Hux leaned forward to taunt Ren when Ren slammed his hand on Hux’s desk and went to stand up. 

Thankfully, Phasma seemed to predict this outcome. She slid in front of Kylo crossing her arms daring him to lay a finger on her. Her icy glare seemed to settle him enough to calm down so she averted the glare to Hux who quickly sat back looking ashamed. 

“Now, if you two are done measuring each other's dick sizes, we have business to attend to,” Phasma spat at the two boys,anger coursing through her veins, ”and get out of my damned chair Ren.” 

Kylo quickly clamored out of her chair and stood at attention in the back of the room. Phasma slid into her usual spot with a smug look on her face and noticed that the red-head in front of her looked a little too happy about this development too. She couldn’t quite figure out what was going through the short-tempered man's mind for him to be revealing so much emotion without thinking about it but it wasn’t much of her business either. Kylo cleared his throat at the back of the room feeling perplexed by the looks Hux was giving Phasma and he didn’t much want to find out if she was returning them. The two seemed to jolt back to reality with Hux’s face returning to the stoic cold it usually remained in. 

“So business…” Hux suggested toward Ren still feeling slightly embarrassed for becoming lost in thought.


	2. The Business of Roomates

Phasma grinned in Hux’s general direction; she loved nothing more than to put Hux out of his comfort zone. She wasn’t quite sure what had come over her earlier but it most definitely wasn’t anything to dwell on. Leaning back, Phasma glanced at Ren who looked equally as uncomfortable as Hux. However, the dark glint in Ren’s eyes told her that something was seriously wrong. She quickly schooled her expression and sat up a little straighter in her chair. Clearing her throat, she attempted to dispel any discomfort in the room. 

Ren turned his attention to her, seeming to consider if the grim news he was about to clue the both of them into was worth a swift kick to the balls. His face scrunched up almost imperceptibly as if vaguely imaging the situation before it dropped into an unreadable mask as he further straightened his posture. “It seems that the marketing strategies that our selective bosses have used the past five years are no longer profitable and in doing so all stocks and profits have dropped immensely,” Ren looked at the floor almost like he was dreading his next words, “A big part of that marketing scheme has been us and if we don’t manage to use our platforms to up sales by thirty-seven percent we’re all out of a job.” 

The pin in the room that had just dropped resonated amongst all of them. Phasma felt the room spinning and her stomach clenching. Looking around she realised her coworkers weren’t fairing much better. Hux looked as if he was going to pass out, his face paler than believed possible and he was completely frozen. Ren on the other hand was seething, clenching and unclenching his fist, staring down a coffee mug on Hux’s desk as if he might break it. 

Phasma saw the world in waves and the room around her started spinning, doubling over into Hux’s trash can she emptied the contents of her stomach. That seemed to bring the air back into the room as Ren looked up being genuinely surprised and Hux scooted back in his rolling chair face scrunched up in disgust. Phasma motioned for the two men to offer any assistance and that spurred them into action. Hux turned and grabbed bottled water from the mini fridge behind his desk while Ren handed her the box of tissues on Hux’s desk. Phasma graciously accepted both from the men as she worked to compose herself. By the time she had gotten herself back to looking semi-professional and able to focus, Hux had already jotted down a couple of percentages on his First Order notepad. After sliding the notebook over to both Ren and Phasma to confirm a couple numbers he started furiously typing away on his computer. After a pause, he turned back to the two looking much paler than humanly possible. He quickly jot down a number and slid it over to Phasma. Circled in red ink was the number five million, nine-hundred and twenty thousand dollars. Phasma’s jaw dropped. She knew that their sales usually averaged to about 16 billion dollars across the three companies but this was just asinine. There was no way the three of them combined could come up with this type of money by the end of the year and as odd as the two men in the room with her were she couldn’t imagine her life without them. They’d known each other since they took the internship for their current workplace together almost six years ago. This couldn’t happen, she wouldn’t lose the two boys next to her no matter how annoying they could be. Taking a deep breath, Phasma put her head in her hands and tried to come up with a solution for all three of them. 

Ren stepped up beside her and put his hand on her shoulder before taking a look at the number himself and swearing loudly. Hux just seemed at a loss for words. None of them could fathom how they could pull this off. 

Phasmas head was swimming with ideas, one after the other, until she was struck with some clarity. Looking up at the men staring at her she started, “Ren, does us donating to the company count as apart of that thirty-seven percent?” 

Ren thought for a second before nodding a quick yes at her and motioned for her to continue. 

She then turned her attention to Hux and asked, “And you have two spare bedrooms in your quarters, right? Your housing was meant to be communal until your roomates got fired and we all know we’re all paying out of the ass to have our own lodgings,” Hux gave her a quick yes and kept listening, “So why don’t we share quarters and that way all of us save more and what we save from Rent money going to the company can be given to them in donations? And then we can all split living expenses evenly.” 

Both men looked at her as if she’d just grown a second head but neither of them made a move to reject the proposal. Hux and Ren made pointed looks at each other seeming to have a silent conversation before turning back to her. Hux met her eyes and froze in place looking mildly baffled with a mixture of fear and his face as red as Rudolph's nose. Phasma scrunched her face and raised an eyebrow searching the man's face for any clues as to what could’ve poised that reaction but as fast as the expression appeared it was gone. Hux was back to his stony cold exterior. 

“I suppose that would be in all of our best interests,” Hux stated grimly, gritting his teeth together, “Although, some soundproofing would be ideal.” Hux shot a glare at Ren and Ren just glared back. Phasma rubbed her temples and took a good look at the two boys in her presence. She was aware that Ren had his fair share of partners and loved to play loud music at random intervals but it wasn't like Hux was a saint either. Hux’s shower tunes weren’t always pleasant and his strings of curses that usually followed loud crashes were all too frequent. It was a miracle that either of them still had a job. Phasma on the other hand might as well have been a saint compared to the other two. The worst they could really say about her is that she barged into places unannounced and liked to pull the occasional prank. Granted, both of these had led to several awkward situations that none of the parties involved were particularly eager to repeat. 

Focusing back on the situation at hand, Phasma picked up Hux’s notepad and pen and scribbled down a few ideas. After a moment, Phasma studied the list of ideas she’s just written and called out to the general space of the room, “Hey Hux, I just realised….none of us actually know where the front door to your quarters is. We’ve always just used the door connecting straight to your room.” 

Both men turned to look at her, Rens jaw dropped open like a gaping fish and Hux pausing momentarily to process what had just been said. Phasma looked up, tapping the pen to paper and waited for the two to offer any type of response. After what seemed like hours of stunned silence, it was Hux who offered reparation. 

“I suppose we ought to fix that then. I don’t need you two barging into my room at odd hours just to get inside,” Hux stated with a scowl, “I do have a front door you know.” 

Phasma nodded in recognition of this but ultimately brushed it off. She’d known his quarters had a front door but neither she or Ren had any reason to find out where it was much less use it. Why would they when they could just bother Hux whenever they wanted without having to sneak through his entire living space. 

Ren was the one to draw her out of her thoughts, “Well I suggest if you plan on having any sort of privacy,” Ren gritted through his teeth having had it with the auburn haired man in front of him, “I suggest you actually show us where this door is.” 

Hux rolled his eyes at Ren before motioning for the two to follow him as he strolled out the room. Ren lingered for a second staring Hux down as if he were somehow going to burn holes in the back of the man's skull. Phasma took this as an opportunity to become a barrier between the two knowing that if she didn’t Ren was likely to beat the piss out of Hux before they could even get to their new living space. 

After a brief walk, the trio reached the door that all three were familiar with and used quite often. Hux turned around to the other two and explained, “I figured It’d be best to show you where the front door is using the door you already know about.” Turning back around, Hux opened the door as Phasma remembered what she’d done to his room earlier as payback. But it was too late; the door swung open to reveal the room looking like a sparkly hell. Hux’s ears turned the same color as his hair as he clenched his fists. As Hux whipped around to face them, all Phasma could see was the icy calmness in his expression as he asked in the calmest, deadliest tone, “What the fuck did you two do to my room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do y'all think so far? Hux so far has definitly been my favorite to write and I love the trio aspect. I promise Reniassance action is coming up soon but since this story focuses on the First Order I needed problems within the First Order. Thank you all so much for reading! I really appreciate it and sincerely hope you're enjoying my story. As always the only thing I own is the story line. You're welcome to leave comments below with suggestions on how the plot should advance and I'd love to hear everyones favorite part of the story so far! - Bennet_Darct <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Constructive Critisicm is always welcome and I look forward to continuing this journey. This idea came to me after I was looking through Star Wars memes thinking about how much the First Order bickers and how that could be turned into comedy through a productive job. None of these characters, twitters, or anything but the plot is mine. Stay Creating! - Bennet_Darcy <3


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